FifiShark's Journal

My earliest memory is of when I was three years old and I was leaning against the wall of our downstairs hallway contemplating life. I remember thinking to myself "Wow. I am 3."

I wanted to take a moment to invite you to my personal GameFly network. It is a great service where you can rent from thousands of games for one low monthly fee. Click on the link below to check it out:

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Thanks  everyone.

Have a good day,
Jen

All of last year I didn't work for more than a couple months at a time and Liz and I got very far behind in our bills. We are living with my parents and they had to pay rent and our room and board for 5 months. So now that I am working I want to pay down our bills and debt. I have really bad credit due to my ex and the past year off work. So...I applied for a $10,000.00 loan. It was supposed to be an open loan that I could pay off early with no penalty, 6.8% fixed APR over 4 years. Payments would have been $235 a month. I could pay off our biggest debt and still have money to save. 3 days later I get a call saying I was approved. However, due to my bad credit score they would need 6 months up front as a down payment which worked out to $1400.I thought it was odd but then I figured my credit is bad so maybe this is what they do. I wouldn't have to start payments until October. So I Western Unioned the money to the people. Then on the day I was supposed to get the cash they call and tell me they need another 6 months to secure the loan. I told them I didn't have that much and just to give me my money back. They told the refund would take until April 28, 2008 when the lender's billing cycle ends.

Now in order to send the first $1400, I had to use all of the money in my account, take out a payday loan and use half most of Liz's money from her paycheck. Thus leaving me with $9 in my checking account.

Then when we asked Liz's mom to help us out (I haven't paid rent yet) she found a bunch of stuff on the internet about these people. Apparently the whole thing is a scam. I am thus an idiot that fell for a scam and am out $1400 which I couldn't afford to lose. so that is why I am disappointed. I needed that money to cover the money I spent to get it.

I am at my whits end trying to figure out what to do. Last December my dad threw a fit and slammed me against the wall because he was sick of having to pay for me to live. That I was a selfish little bitch who was just taking advantage of him. The next day he told me that on Jan 1 we had to start paying rent without missing a payment or we were out. So needless to say I am freaking out thinking he is going to go ape shit again and kick me and Liz out and we'll have to live in our car or something.

So anyway, that's my story.

Cell phone, insulin and blood sugar monitor

Started my job at AT&T which has given me the chance to starting getting out of debt.

I woke up this day like any other day; only this day promised to be full of adventure and fun…this day was the day of the company picnic. Now a lot of companies do food in the conference room or something like that but not my company…my company took us to Six Flags, Kentucky Kingdom.

Liz and I got ready and piled into the car to start off on our adventure around 12:45pm. We got to the end on the street from our house about to turn on to the main street in our area and this huge bug (literally like at least an inch long)  comes out of nowhere and lands on our windshield upside down. He (I am only assuming a he), slides down to the windshield wipers. Liz says “Normally I would turn on the wipers to get rid of it put last time I did that it just smeared bug guts everywhere.” So I decided to just leave him there. I have since discovered that it was a horse fly. I don’t know where it came from, but the poor thing was all discombobulated. It managed to hang on to the wiper for about 3 miles until we got on the highway. At one point, he put his front legs over the wiper arm like a dog would put his front legs on the car window to look out and feel the wind in its face. We ended naming the bug Ralph. We were cheering for him and talking to him. It was sad really. Then after we got on to the highway after passing one exit poor Ralph just couldn’t hang on anymore. His little wing was blowing so hard in the wind that he finally just let go. RIP little Ralph.

So anyway, we get to Six Flags and we park. It wasn’t too full so that was good. We went to the picnic area which was literally over the river and through the woods, well okay through the entire park, over an uphill bridge and across the road, but it felt like we were hiking. So we have lunch and we chat with some co-workers.

Then we go on the rides. I went on the wooden coaster (I can’t remember the name), the Blizzard River, T2 and Chang. By the time I got off of Chang I was starting to hurt all over. My friend from work Teresa and I were the primary ones from our little group to go on the rides together. After Chang it was getting late so we headed back over to the entrance of the park and played some games. I won Liz green and black frog with long arms and legs; a blue and green whale; a bucket that says Six Flags on it; a fish that looks like Nemo on a blue stick, which oddly enough was referred to as a “Fish Stick” and a superman cape. Okay the cape came with the bucket which I bought trying to win at “ring toss” but who’s counting?

While we were there, we also got our picture taken in one of those photo booths that you squeeze into and make goofy faces that they have in all the movies. I hit the wrong button and only got 1 pose but it turned out really good.  We also had our picture taken when we got to the park which is now my profile picture on myspace.

We had a good time and were exhausted. It was definitely in my top 5 best days.

I went to http://simpsonizeme.com/ uploaded my photo and it turned me into a Simpson. My profile pic is me as a Simpson.

Try it out. It was fun.

One year ago today I had a hysterectomy. I lost any chance I had of ever having a biological child. It saved my life, but I am sad sometimes that I won't know what it is like to be pregnant or have a child who has my eyes or personality or the knowledge that unless I am some kind of crack whore they can never be taken away from me and not let me talk to them or see them. I never thought I wanted kids until I had the honor of raising one for several years.

In this past year I have struggled so much. I have had 3 jobs, none of which stuck for different reasons, I moved back in with my parents and have gotten my tattoo covered up. I have also learned that I have a breaking point. A point to where I no longer wish to be alive. It was at this point, where I was fighting with everyone and hating myself that I turned back to God. I am looking for a church to go to and have a lot of questions still but I have started praying again. I am realizing more and more how much I have missed that bond. I have a meeting with a pastor on Thursday and hopefully she will be able to answer some of the questions I have. I need a place to feel like I belong and I have never felt that more than when I have been in touch with God.

So much in a year. It boggles the mind. I think (and hope and pray) that this next year will be better. I want to get out of debt, finish up the cover up of my tattoo, lose 100 pounds and move out on my own, well with Liz of course.

I want to thank everyone who has stuck with me through this year. Some I recently got back in touch with, some who have every right to hate me but don't and those that I have recently met. Thank you for listening and keeping in touch. You all have meant the world to me.

To my wife, I thank you for sticking by me even though I have been the biggest bitch the past few months. I love you baby and always will.

To the son of my heart, I am glad that I have gotten to see you again. I will love and treasure you for all of eternity. Stay strong and know that you are loved unconditionally.

Here's to a better year.

Yay me. I finally did it. I got my crap tattoo covered up with a new one. It needs some touch up work, but I really like it.

Okay so I am now on job number 3 for 2007. I find that I am averaging .6 jobs a month. That is a little more that half a job a month.  Now that I have figured that out I am feeling rather stupid, how do you have half a job?

Anyway, Solectron didn't work out. I was hired for a new position and they kept yanking me around. I talked to the HR guy yesterday after working my first day at my new job and he thanked me for giving him feedback as to why I was quitting. Then he apologized. I thought that was nice. He asked me if the new job was offering more money. Actually, it pays way less, but seeing as Solectron was keeping me off work for at least 1 full week, even less is more.

So my new job is working in the PACS Prior department of a large hospital chain in KY. Since August of 2006, all Xrays for the 7 hospital locations of Norton's health-care have gone digital. It is my job to pull any prior procedures and or xrays that would be in the radiological system.  

It is really easy work and it borders on boring. However, after this past year, I am thankful for a dull boring job that I don't have to think to hard about.

Today is my Dad's birthday. We are going out to dinner tonight in honor.

Sunday, will be my 1 year anniversary with Liz. We had a beautiful ceremony in Danville KY in a house on a river. It was so nice and beautiful.

I have no vacation time, so we aren't doing anything other than dinner and a possible movie.

Only one more hour till my weekend. I don't have to be back at work till Tuesday at 7pm. Yay me.

Well back to work.